The Prophetic Ministry in Marriage
I would like to begin this message by making a statement. God wants you to be a team. There is this fallacy, particularly in prophetic circles, that when you are called to the prophetic ministry it is you that is called and you alone.
So there are many that struggle, being called to the prophetic ministry, feeling that there spouse is always lagging behind and tagging along, not quite being a part of the calling on their lives. Their spouse does not seem to have the same passion, the same burden, and the same vision. They do not see things the same way.
So immediately what happens is that you form this preconceived idea in your mind that the Lord has called you. And you now have this ministry that you need to work out and walk in, in His Name, and your spouse must either come and join you in your ministry or must leave. But what you do not realize is that God has made you to be a team. The day that you were married, your husband left his mother and father and cleaved to you, and the Scripture says that you have become one flesh.
Two Super-glued Together
My dad gives a lovely illustration regardign marriage. He says that what that means is for two people, a husband and wife, to be joined at the back and be super-glued together. I want you to see that picture very clearly in your mind during this message as I share with you from what the Lord has shown me, from the Word and from personal experience. I want you to see clearly the whole way through that you and your husband, the day you were married and cleaved, were joined back to back like super-glue.
So in other words, if you bend down, he bends or she bends with you. If you take a step to the right your partner has to step with you. And if he or she steps to the left, you have to go with them. You are super-glued. You are one flesh. The day you were married the Lord said, "I want you to be a team, not one, but two as one."
I want you to hold that image very firmly in your heart and your mind, and as I share I would like you to be open to receive what the Lord would minister to you. Because what I am going to share here may touch some areas that are very sensitive to you.
I would like the Spirit of God, as I am sharing, to break down those walls that have come up between you and your spouse; to create new bonds; to break away the destruction and the theft that the enemy has come into and taken away. Because I tell you something, the marriage unison is a holy and a precious thing. This is what it is meant to be in the eyes of God, something holy, something precious. It is good. God made it to be a good thing.
You are meant to be a team, you and your spouse as one under God. And as I share you can see how you can learn to become a team; how you can encourage your spouse to become a team player with you, but always holding this image and thought, that God intended for you two to be a team, to be victorious as a team; as a couple to stand against the enemy. That is His design. That is His purpose.
Samson And The Foxes
I love using the illustration where Samson went and took the two foxes. He took one fox and another fox, grabbed them and he tied their tails together, lit their tails and he sent them through the enemy's fields. There were 40 pairs or something. hey destroyed everything. They destroyed vines and wheat. They destroyed all the harvest for summer. But you know what? He had to grab the foxes and then he had to tie them together before he could put the fire in the middle.
A lot of the time that is what the Lord has to do with us. He has to grab the husband. He has to grab the wife, because they are each running in their own directions. He has to yank this one from the one direction, yank the other one from the other direction. Then to make it secure He has to tie them together because they still keep wanting to go their own way! Then when He has tied them together and once they are in unity, then and only then can He put the fire in their tail and send them into the enemy's camp to destroy and bring victory for the Kingdom of God.
So if you are feeling a bit of tugging on your tail right now, know that the Lord is at work and He knows what He is doing and He has a plan for you. So be encouraged that the Lord knows what He is doing. He has a plan for each of you.
You Were Not Alone
There is this idea that says, "I went through the prophetic preparation. I went through the prophetic training. I did this. I did that." What you do not realize is the day you said, "All right Lord, I'm prepared to submit to the ministry you would have me in," you roped your whole family in with you. Because the preparation that you have gone through throughout the years, your spouse has gone through with you. You have not gone through the preparation on your own.
For many of you, who have been married for a good few years now, you have gone through this preparation with your spouse. What makes you think that you are so unique that the Lord is only able to bring the gold out of you and not out of your partner? They went through the fire of affliction. They went through the hell and the trials and the rejection and pain with you. Okay, sometimes they are a part of that pain and rejection, but they went through it with you.
You need to realize that there is a gold deposit there, just like there was a gold deposit in you that the Lord brought to light when He took you through the training and the preparation. There is a gold and a gem deposit in your spouse too. There is gold in there, and the Lord wants to use that gold. And it is up to you as a prophet to bring that gold out; to bring out the beauty; to bring out the diamond that is in the rough. It is up to you.
Stir Up Your Partner's Gifts
Did we not cover in prophetic purpose, what we are supposed to be doing as prophets? Are we not supposed to be identifying ministries and encouraging people into their ministries? Well why would your spouse be any different to any other member of the Kingdom of God? Why would your spouse be any different? But no, it is so much easier to run off and find somebody else to minister to, isn't it?
It is glorious when the Lord uses you to go and minister to somebody else and you look so good, and you look like such a hot shot, and everybody thinks you are wonderful. So you pour out all this ministry and you encourage and exhort, and your spouse is just sitting at home. Who is identifying your partner's ministry, and encouraging and exhorting and bringing it out of him? Who is stirring up the gifts in your partner?
Start In The Home
You may have been called as a prophet to the nations, but are you starting at home? This goes right back too with the Prophetic Child. Are you stirring it up in your children? Now we come back to this question, are you stirring it up in your spouse? Are you putting the same effort into them that you put into the Kingdom of God, because I tell you what, they are part of the Kingdom of God.
You see it is too personal. It is too close. It's too close to home. You take your partner for granted. They are always there, and, "Hey, if the Lord's called me he must come in line. It's not my fault that my spouse is so useless and does not want to come and join me. You know what? God's called me. I am in the glory seat now. And if he wants to be part of it then he must sort himself out and he must stand here where I am."
It Is Your Priority
You are going out and you are ministering and prophesying, and that is all fine and well, but what is happening with your spouse? What is happening with your partner? Are you sitting with your husband or wife and stirring up the gifts in them like you are in others? It should be your priority. It is your priority before God.
For husbands, who are the covering to their wives, she is your priority, and you should be pouring everything into her that is in you. But you see, we are running after the glory too much. We want the glory. We want everybody to think we are so wonderful.
How many of you have seen it in churches, where the husband is all great, and the wife sits in the background, a little nobody? She is a little nobody who knows nothing and is neglected for the sake of the people. Really, that attention should be poured into the wife so they can stand up in unity, and as two foxes on fire, blaze a trail for the Kingdom of God.
Power In Unity
There is power in unity. I keep stressing this through every lecture and I want to burn it in you. There is power in unity.
The Lord gave you that partner. I don't care whether or not you made a mistake marrying them. I do not care if the circumstances in which you were married were not to your liking and not very God-ordained. You are married now. You are one flesh now which means God wants you as a team. This is what you need to work at, at becoming that team, to standing in unity. Because where there is unity there is power.
Where two are gathered in His Name there He is in the midst of them. There is power, there is revival, there's outpouring, there is healing, there is every gift and every manifestation in unity.
You are feeling rejected, and there are many who are not even fellowshipping in church. You are standing saying, "I'm so lonely. What am I going to do? I feel so left out." Could it not be that the Lord has put you in that very position so that you can stand in unity with the person He has placed in your life, for that purpose?
Turn To Your Spouse
It is easier to run to everybody else and receive that isn't it? It is easy to go and get the glory from others, and have the acceptance and recognition from others. But the Lord has now put you in a position where you are going to have to receive all your acceptance and recognition from the Lord alone and from your spouse alone, because it is the three of you and no one else.
It is time to wake up and realize what a gem is in your partner. It is easy to criticize. It is easy to say, "Lord I have the passion. I have sacrifice. I have given up. I have moved out in your calling, and this spouse of mine is lagging on behind. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care for you like I do."
Do you honestly think God has favorites? Do you think God loves you any more than He loves your partner? Do you think the calling on your life is any greater than what you would like your spouse to rise up into?
The Lord has a vision for you both, but you restrict Him with your thinking. You restrict Him by how you think your spouse should act, and how you think your spouse should be progressing in the Spirit. It is time for the walls to come down. Let down those walls that are ever so pious and are ever so, "This is the way we do it. This is the right way, therefore they must fall into my pattern," because the Lord is the only one with the pattern here. And He has you placed in part of that pattern.
Remove Preconceived Ideas
So let Him do His work and stop forming these preconceived ideas in your mind of where your spouse should be, how your spouse should arrive there, and how your spouse should act. That is the Lord's work. All you need to be is the instrument in guiding the hand of the Lord to bring them to that place.
Your Starting Point - Speak Blessing
So what is your starting point? We know that spiritual forces are faith, hope and love. If you have a spouse that is not walking with you in your calling, and in fact a spouse that is not even interested in serving the Lord, these are your first steps. Get on your knees.
Are you interceding and are you pouring forth to your spouse? Are you speaking blessing on him? Are you speaking blessing on him or are you saying, "This spouse of mine will never come right. I don't know what I am going to do.
I don't know what the Lord is going to do with my husband. All he likes to do is sit in front of the TV all day. He doesn't care about the work of the Lord. He doesn't care about anything. He is just nothing but a couch potato. I don't know what I am going to do with him. Lord, just do something, because he is useless."
Are those the words coming out of your mouth? Does the Word not say, "Bless and do not curse"? Every time one of those negative words come out of your mouth you are cursing. And I tell you something, you are reaping the words of your mouth. You are reaping them. You should be speaking blessing.
"Thank you Father that your purpose is complete in my life. Thank you Jesus that your light is shining in him. I call forth that fire that is in him. Father stir up the gifts in him. I speak on you blessing. I speak on you abundant health. I speak on you a burning and a passion for the Lord."
Are you pouring that into him? We know the power that the prophet has in the Spirit. Are you using that authority? Are you using your prophetic key to bring blessing and change to your spouse? Are you using the power of your mouth to destroy and bring down and cause division? Because with every word of negativity you speak you are bringing another brick between you and your spouse, and you are also bringing another brick between you and the Lord.
Every ounce of bitterness and negativity corrodes your spirit and it corrodes every chance of unity there is for the two of you to stand together in one and as one for the Kingdom of God. The Lord has a plan for you. He has a big plan for you, for the two of you, as one in His Kingdom. Let Him break down the walls, because it is time to come together as one.
Build Your Faith, Speak The Word
Fill your mouth with the Word, the confession of your faith. "God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I may think and ask."
"Lord, I know that the situation looks impossible, but I believe Your Word that says You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I may think and ask. I know that You can do it, Lord. I know that You can do it. You said that You can make a river in the wilderness and a road in the desert. Lord, if you can do those things, then surely you can bring a fire inside my spouse. Surely you can bring us together as one."
Speak the Word continually. Speak it, meditate it, put it in your spirit until it is more real to you than the reality you are seeing with your eyes. Push it down there. "Whatever is loosed on earth is loosed in heaven." Loose it continually. Open the doors of your husband or wife's heart. Loose them. Loose the bounds that Satan has over them. Loose the oppression over them. Bind it in Jesus' Name. Open their eyes. Speak light to their eyes.
But what are you doing? You are saying, "He's never going to get it. He's never going to move in ministry. He is never going to understand." Well is it surprising then that he is not doing it? You have just what you asked for. But you are too scared to hope you see. You are too scared to hope because you hoped and it failed. You hoped and you were hurt. And it hurts too much to hope again, just in case it is the same this time.
Meditate On The Word.
But you see, you have risen up in authority now. You have come to a new level of authority, and you need to know how to use that authority. You need to take your eyes off your situation and take your eyes off yourself and find it in the Word of God, because that is the truth, that's the reality. The reality is, 'He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all you may ask or think.'
The truth is He is able to move a mountain on your behalf. The truth is that, 'greater is He that is in you.' The truth is you have the authority and you have the power to bring change in your life. The truth is your spouse is a believer which means, "Hang on a minute. They have the same Spirit which raised Christ from the dead in them. Hang on a minute. They have the same Spirit in them that is in me."
How is that for a revelation? It is the same Spirit that has given you the authority and the boldness to stand up and be a prophet of God. They have the same Spirit in them.
So if they have the same Spirit in them, as dead as it looks, then why are you not calling it to life? Why are you not calling the dead to life? Because that same Spirit that raised a rotten stinking body from the grave can certainly raise a rotten stinking spirit from the grave can it not?
You can speak life into the lives of others. Why are you not speaking life into the life of your partner? Speak life in that spirit. Cause that fire, that tiny little glimmer there, to start burning again. Cause it to start burning again, because that is God's plan for you.
He does not mean for you to sit and grovel and be under oppression and battle with this for the rest of your life. It is not His plan for you to stand alone, because you cannot stand alone. It is too difficult to stand alone. It is not His plan for you to have to go through this all on your own, battling and struggling and wondering if you are ever going to make it through. It is not His plan for you.
His plan is for you to be a team, to stand in unity, to each be just as important to the Kingdom of God; to each wield the same authority. The Lord has a plan and purpose for each of you. The day you were saved; the day you gave your heart to Lord Jesus, He gave to you a calling and a gift and a ministry. Your spouse is no different. It does not mean that because you do not see it in their lives that it is not there.
See as the Lord Sees
But you see, you go too much on what you see instead of going on what the Lord sees. That is how you develop your hope, by putting the Word in there. Once the Word is in there the Lord can start planting the pictures in your mind. You need to see your spouse serving the Lord. You need to see your husband or wife serving the Lord. See His vision for them, His plan for them, not your ideas for them.
You need to see them rising up and functioning in ministry. You need to see them rising up and serving the Lord with passion and fervently. You need to see it in your mind. You need to meditate it. You need to eat it and dream about it and you need to drink it. It needs to be so real to you that reality fades away; that that is all you see; that that is your vision; that you have something to aim towards; that when you look around at your circumstances and they seem to be becoming worse, that you have a picture and a hope to hold onto.
Let the Lord put the pictures in your heart. Let Him build them in you, because He has a plan for you. Let the walls come down. Let the Lord remove the walls between you, because He wants to bring the two of you together to such an awesome and blessed union. It is your blessing. It is your right. It is your gift, and Satan is stealing it from you. And you are allowing Satan to steal it from you.
Don't Let Satan Steal From You
The Lord is grieved because He sees how much more He has for you that you are letting be taken away. Would you let any thief come into your home and pick up a prized possession and walk out with it? No! But yet you let Satan steal the absolute gem and treasure that is in marriage and the unity of marriage, and the unison in marriage. You let him steal that from you.
It is not God's plan for you to walk this alone, Prophet. I know that is what you think, but it is not God's plan, particularly if you are a woman. It is not God's plan for you to walk alone. He has a better plan and purpose for you and you need to see it through His eyes. You need to open up your eyes to yourself before you can start looking into the life of your spouse.
You need to build love, and this is the point I am going to major on in this message. Love, pure, pure love. Love is like water in the desert. You know you have these flash floods in the desert where beforehand everything is dry, dry, dry. You have seen the documentaries. You cannot see a single green plant for miles. Then suddenly there's a flash flood and before you know it there are animals, there are plants, there are bushes, there is food, and there's abundance of fruit and every good thing.
Call It To Life
Water does that, and so does love do that, because love is a water source. It feeds the dry land. And you know something, your spouse's heart is that desert right now. It is that wilderness that is dry and cracked. And if there is one little dry bush there then you are lucky.
It looks that bad, but love is water. Love will water that spirit. Love will bring life to it like nothing else in this world will. Call it to life and use the love of Jesus to do it.
Don't Judge and Accuse
But what are you doing? Are you standing in accusation and judgment and condemnation? Are you looking at your spouse's sin and saying, "Yeah, you're a filthy rotten sinner. No wonder the Lord is judging you. No wonder you are such a mess. Look at you! You don't want to serve Him. What else do you expect? You are rotten, you are filthy. Remember last year what you did to me and the kids?"
Is that what you are doing?
"Yes, no wonder you are where you are. No wonder the Lord won't bless you. You will never be used in ministry. Look how pathetic you are! Just the other day you know, I know what you did ..."
Is that what you are saying? Is that what you are doing? Are you tearing down with your mouth? Are you tearing down and sucking out the last little bit of life and water that is in there? Or are you pouring forth water? Are you pouring forth life into that spirit?
Break your own walls down
It is so easy to judge, especially when they seem to be going against everything that you believe. It is so easy to tear down and to stand up and judge God's people and condemn and tear down and break down. It is so easy.
You know where the breaking and the tearing and pulling down needs to come? It needs to come in your own heart. Before the Lord can work in your spouse, make sure that the walls in your heart are torn down first. Look at your beam.
Tear down those walls. Tear down the walls of those preconceived ideas of bitterness, of negativity, of your own pattern of what you think your own spouse should be falling in line with. That is what you should be tearing down, the walls in your own heart. What you should be pouring out is life-giving water and love, love, love, continually.
You might say, "You know what? My spouse is one mean, horrible person. He abuses me, he rejects me. He is horrible."
I tell you, love has a force like nothing on this earth. It is something that Satan cannot even begin to comprehend. No person on this earth can reject love, pure love, love from the Spirit of God. No person can reject that. They can run away from it. They can run and hide from it, but they cannot reject it because it is the way that God has built us.
Give Affirmation. Don't Tear Down
Every human has a desire for affirmation and love and care. Every person deep down inside is a child just wanting somebody to give them attention. Are you being the husband or wife that is giving that attention?
Are you feeding that child? Are you feeding it with love and care and hugs and kisses, and all the good things? Or are you tearing down and causing that gentle sweetness to be withdrawn more and more, and hidden away more and more, because you keep hammering and hammering and hammering all the time.
The more you hammer the more he withdraws and you say, "Yes, that convicted him!" So you hammer him again and he withdraws more and you say, "Yep, I told you I had a useless husband."
No wonder he is sitting and not wanting to spend time with you and running away, because all you ever do is hammer. He will never bring himself right. Who wants to sit around the place where you are getting hell fire and damnation all the time? Who would like to sit for a nice cozy afternoon in the midst of hell fire? Who would like to do that?
A Sweet Smelling Rose
No! Give them a nice gentle stream to sit beside where the waters are cool and refreshing and gentle, and bring peace to the soul and they will stick to you like a fly. Are you a sweet smelling rose? You know when you are sweet smelling, the bee just cannot help it. It wants to come. It wants to come and pollinate. It cannot help itself, because the color is so beautiful and so bright, and the smell is so appealing. It cannot help itself but to keep coming back.
Are you that rose that just oozes love and life in the presence of the Lord? Is that what oozes from every pore of you so that he thinks, "Ooh, I have to have some more of you. It just tastes so good. Oh I want some of that?" Or are you a Venous Fly Trap that is all stinky? What are you? Are you one that destroys with poison or one that releases a beautiful scent?
Break down the walls of your own heart. Become that flower first and the bee will naturally be attracted to it. You do not have to hunt down a bee and force it onto a flower. It will come there by itself. Just stand there and be beautiful, whether you are a husband or wife. Be appealing in your spirit. Be every good thing. Be all the fruits of the Spirit.
But love is the sweetest, sweetest aroma. It is the sweetest aroma to the Lord when we offer up our love and sacrifice. It is like a sweet incense to His nostrils. You know if He is thinking it is such a sweet incense to His nostrils, do you not think that everybody else around you thinks it is a sweet smell too?
Don't you like to be around people who say nice things to you? Is it not human nature to be around somebody who is just a nice guy? He just says nice things. I am not saying, go around and be false and be something you are not. No. I'm saying, let off a scent that the bee wants to come and be with. Do not let off something that makes people want to run and be intimidated and scared and trapped.
Be open, blossom, and let the beauty that is within you, that is Jesus Christ, come forth. And you will not need to be bashing your husband to come and spend time with the Lord with you. He will be running to get there because he just cannot stay away from you.
"There's just so mething beautiful about this wife of mine. I can't explain it, but that face is just radiating something I have not seen before. Man she is looking beautiful today. What is it?"
"Man, there is something about my husband. He has a new tenderness and understanding. I cannot explain it. There's just something about him that makes me just want to be with him all the time. It makes me want to hold his hand all the time. It makes me just want to sit next to him while he is watching TV all the time."
Are you being that kind of husband, that your wife looks at you and thinks, "There is just something about you that makes me want to be with you," or every time she comes into your presence, up come the walls and there comes the hammer?
Don't Kill The Life
You need to break down the walls in your own heart. You need to look at yourself and assess yourself through the Lord's eyes before you can start working on your spouse. Draw the bee to the flower. Do not go chasing after it, because it is just going to run.
In fact, you know what is going to happen? It's going to sting you. If you try and grab a bee in your hand it gives its life to sting you. You know, that is so often what happens in a marriage. The husband or the wife is so keen to have the partner to come and be with them and have their calling and their burden, that they hammer them and try and catch them. And just to get away the bee stings itself and kills the very life that is in it.
I see that happening. Just to get away, the spouse will hurt and lash back and run away, and lose the very little bit of flame he had in him, because you keep on trying to grasp and snatch and catch and push.
Woo In Love
It is not the way the Lord works. The Lord never imposes His will on us. Never. He is one that woos in gentleness and love. He is like that sweet rose. That is what He is. He woos us. You should be wooing your husband or wife, and you should be doing it showing love and letting the Lord Jesus shine through, being something special.
Wives Submit To Your Husbands
As a wife you should be submitting to your husband. It is not a nice word, hey, that old 'submit' word? It is just as well I am a woman talking about this one, for I can say it safely. "Submit to your husband," because it is God's order.
"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church," and, "Wives, submit to your husbands, as unto the Lord," the Scriptures say.
You might say to me, "Yes, but I am called and my husband is standing against every calling, and really he is unjustified. Therefore I can rebel and come out from that authority because I am called and he is rebelling against that calling."
You have it wrong. The Scriptures say, "Wives submit to your husbands." And I don't care if your husband opposes your calling. When it comes to the home you are of one flesh and you are responsible to submit to him. I am not saying go against the Word of God. But you should be in submission to your husband. If he does not want you going to Church I am sorry to say it, but that is his choice and you should be submitting. It sounds pretty harsh doesn't it?
I never said, "Stop serving the Lord," but if he says, "You can't go on Wednesday night," do not get your ruffles up and become all rebellious and stand up and say, "Well I'm going anyway," and go in complete rebellion against him. That will really win him over! Rebellion is a venus fly trap. Can you see it?
But submit and let that rose let off its scent, and I tell you what, that will change his heart. If you submit in love he is going to look at you and say, "You know, I love her so much. Why am I being so hard on her? You know what, she's so beautiful and so special to me."
"You know what, love, if it will make you really happy to go you can go."
Wouldn't you rather be going under your husband's blessing, than going in complete rebellion, causing a wall and division to come against you? You see, Satan can use your very passion against you. You need to watch this. He will use your very zeal and passion for the Lord and your calling against you. And that can destroy your marriage. You need to be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove.
Submission will change Him
You need to submit. It is God's order and He has a purpose in it, because when you submit in love it changes the heart of a man. It changes it, and I speak from experience. It changes the heart of a man. A man can be as adamant and as stubborn and determined as he wants, but I tell you something, that heart is very easily melted by a wife who gently submits in love and respect and adoration for her husband.
It is a man's nature to protect and nurture his wife. He is a protector. He is the one that wants to take care of her. But if she is standing up and trying to compete with him in that role, he is going to fight her because now it is opposition. He is no longer the protector, now he has competition.
Do not be your husband's competition. Submit and allow the Lord to work through that submission, because He will. And in so doing you are going to change your husband's heart.
You are going to change his heart, just by submitting in love. I don't mean, "All right I will submit to this stupid, horrible man if I have to," (said through clenched teeth). That is not submission. That is pretending. Submission is doing it in love.
"Lord, I know this is your Word and I love you, therefore I will do it for you, Lord. I will do it because I know that this is what you would want of me." And you submit to your spouse and you say, "You know what? Just because I love you so much, my love, I won't go tonight. And in fact, if there's anything that you would like me to do, come and sit with you, I'll do it for you. It's okay."
You are going to start changing his heart with that attitude instead of bashing back at him and demanding your rights and standing up and rebelling. You are not going to change his heart by hammering at the walls. You are going to change his heart by wooing him out. Hey, I never said this was going to be easy! It is going to take effort on your part. But it is God's order and He put that order there for a purpose.
New Blessings Coming
You are going to find a new security and a new freedom in that order that you never felt, because next time somebody else tries to stand against you, your husband is going to stand up and defend you. Next time you handle rejection and you have opposition because of your calling, your husband is going to stand up and protect you.
Example Of Protective Husband
I have seen this. It was a case where the husband was not really serving the Lord and did not have a real commitment, and his wife was a prophet and she was all zealous for the Lord. She just submitted to the Lord and she submitted to what he wanted. She just continued to show love, not pushing her way, not pushing her views, not pushing anything, just submitting.
And there came a time in this prophet's life where she had a lot of opposition from the church, where they actually stood against her and removed her from her office and were really mean to her.
You know what happened? The silent, non-assuming husband, that never ever did anything, suddenly rose up out of the woodworks and said, "Hey, that's my wife! You know what love, you do not have to take this. Let me handle this." And he stood up for her, and he fought for her valiantly.
Why? Because she submitted to him. And when the time came for her to be weak he stood up as her protector. This is not a great man of God. This is not one that walks in God's pattern at all. No, he is just barely a believer, but his wife continually submitted to him and loved him even though it nearly killed her at times.
It was so hard. She had to let go of so much. But yet when the crunch came and when the time came when she most needed support, he was there to give it to her. And the Lord used him to stand up for her and be the support that he was meant to be.
Do you see why it is so important? You do not have to fight this alone any more. You do not have to struggle alone any more because the Lord has placed somebody there to stand with you, if only you would give that person a chance.
Husbands Love Your Wives
Husbands are you loving your wives as Christ loved the church? Christ loved the church so much He let them nail Him to a tree. He loved her so much, He went through extreme pain and loss and suffering for her. Is that the kind of love you have for your wife?
Are you prepared to give up everything, your life, everything for your wife? Are you prepared to give up recognition and acceptance and being a hotshot for the sake of your wife, the flower that the Lord has brought you? Are you prepared to stand in those shoes, to give up everything because you love her so much?
Wives Were Nobodies
You know, it is so common, and I see this a lot in pastor's homes, being brought up as a pastor's kid. We came to know many other pastors and their families and I saw it over and over again. I saw these great men of God stand in front and give a fiery sermon. Everybody thought the sun shone out of these guys. They were magnificent. But you go into their homes and you see how they really lived.
And you know what? Their wives were little nothings. They were nothings there just to do the bidding of the husband. They were there to be tag-alongs and when the husband said, "Okay this is what we're doing," the wife said, "Yes love."
The children were not poured into. The wife was not poured into. She was just there. The ministry to the people and the glory and fame was more important than the wife was. I saw it tear marriages apart. I saw it separate husbands and wives until the wife came to the point where she just could not take it any more; where she could not take being second best; where she couldn't be cared. It was almost like an adulterous affair. He was married and having an affair with recognition and fame and acceptance of the people.
That is how it is. How can a wife compete with that? How can she compete with that when she knows she will always be second place to the Kingdom of God? She will always be second to others, to the recognition they can give.
Her recognition is never good enough. She is taken for granted. Her recognition and acceptance is there. And suddenly the husband wakes up too late to discover he was holding the most gorgeous diamond you ever saw right in his hand and he let it slip through his fingers.
Would You Give It Up?
Are you holding in your hand a diamond that is pure and beautiful? Are you holding in your hand a diamond and are you taking it so for granted that you are leaving it on the shelf? Because as a prophet it is your job to lift that diamond up and polish it up, and put it on display for the world to see. It should be something special and something important in the Kingdom of God. Would you give up everything to let that diamond shine?
That is what the Lord Jesus did. He gave up everything. He gave up His authority in heaven. He gave up prosperity and walked around as a carpenter. He gave up recognition. He gave up His life. Do you have that kind of commitment to the call of God in your life? Because if you do, that is where it starts, to love your wife as Christ loved the church.
Craig Forsook All
I know from experience that I have a husband like that. I do. He gave up his whole family because he knew God had a call on my life and we were to come to Mexico. At the time we left South Africa, Craig was not very sure of his call. But he knew that God wanted him to give up his home, his family, everything he knew. He gave up everything he knew.
I was coming here to be with my family, so I still had something to come to. He had nothing. He was leaving everything that was familiar to him, everything. His possessions, his life, he gave up because he knew that there was a call on our lives. The Lord has blessed him abundantly for it and given him a great call on his life and allowed him to grow in that call.
Through it, Craig and I both have learned on each end of the spectrum. For me, I have learned to submit and he has learned to give up his life for me. He gave it up for me and the Lord has blessed us both and caused such a bond of unity. So when I tell you these things do not think that I am rattling them off from my head. I have lived through this. I have learned through this step by step. We have learned through this. The Lord has taught us each of these principles practically. And they work.
Because Craig was prepared to give up everything for the call of God in my life, I am prepared to do anything for him. I am and I have. I have been prepared to wait for him to catch up. I have given up and I will continue to give up whatever is necessary because he gave up for me.
You Are Not the Same
You see it is love. You cannot get away from it. It brings life. It brings change. It brings change in your heart, and the Lord has so much for you, you as a team, you as a couple. Do not expect your husband to be the same as you. Do not assume that because you are a prophet and you are moving in the gifts and prophesying and having dreams, that your husband is going to be the same.
I see this mistake a lot. I see prophets expecting their husband or wife to have the same calling as them; to function the same ways as they do; to flow the same way as they do.
"Well obviously if God has given me this calling, then my husband needs to catch up. He needs to be the same as me."
No. You guys are like this beautiful picture and each of you are a piece of the puzzle. You are not identical, but fit you together and you are going to make a gorgeous masterpiece. You cannot have two pieces of puzzle that are identical, because when you have two pieces of puzzle that are identical they are not going to fit. So do not expect your partner to be the same as you, not at all.
You Are Different And Unique
Each of you are different and unique, and you need to start learning how to identify that difference. This is where the exciting part comes in. This is where you are going to discover that, "Hey, my spouse does have something." When you are not expecting him to be like you any more and you are not expecting him to be a prophet any more, you are suddenly going to discover gifts and hidden talents that have been there all along.
How You Do It
Give Some Pressure
This is where the fun starts. This is how you do it. I have applied this principle to my life and marriage. A diamond is formed under pressure, extreme pressure. So, you are wanting your spouse to catch up? Start applying a bit of pressure.
You are saying to me, "Well hang on a minute, you just told me, 'Don't hammer your spouse,' and now you are saying, 'Apply pressure.' "
No, I am talking about a different kind of pressure. Wives, do you have a husband that does not seem to be catching up with you and seems to be dragging his feet there a bit and not getting into the Word and you would really like to see him catch up? We have already discussed how it is a man's nature to want to protect and be there for his wife. You have to play on that. These are the rules. You have to do it.
Ask your Spouse
When you have a spiritual need, whatever it is, go to your spouse first, even if they do not know what they are doing. I can almost hear you cringing from here. You are thinking, "Arggh, my spouse doesn't understand, does not know a thing and really I would rather just keep it to myself." Wrong!
It is so easy to run to the pastor or to the prophet that is above you, or to the apostle or whoever it is that the Lord has placed covering over you. It is very easy. But it is not so easy to run to your spouse when they do not know what they are talking about, hey? This is where some sacrifice is going to come on your part.
When you have a spiritual need and have a problem go to your spouse with it. Why? Because when you do that you force them to go and find the answers for you. When you address them a question that you truly cannot answer, you force them to go and find the answer for you.
And in them going to find the answer for you, they are going to come up with a bit of revelation of their own. Suddenly things are going to start coming out of them that they did not know was there, and they are going to stop and think, "Hang on a minute. I never knew I could function this way. Hang on a minute. I didn't know I could actually be any help."
You see, your spouse looks at you and thinks, "Well, she knows everything." Have you heard that?
"Don't ask me. You know all the answers."
Have you heard that one often enough? Well, it is time to stop having all the answers. It is time to stop having all the revelations. It is time to stop being a big glory prophet.
It's time to be a little nothing and go humbly to your spouse and say, "You know what, I don't know what this means," or "Can you help me with this?" or, "You know what, I am really battling. I have had a really bad day. I really need you to stand with me. I really am not coping so well. I need you to come and protect me and pray for me. Please, will you pray for me."
Your spouse may not even know how to pray and in fact there may be no anointing on it but it does not matter. The point is you are putting pressure on them to change and you are bringing it out of them in love, you see. They will do it because they love you. Because you submitted, and because you have been that beautiful rose, they will want to protect you and nurture you. Be that gentle little rose. Be open and lovely.
Just go to him and say, "Hey, I'm having a problem with this. I need your help."
Husbands, Rest on Your Wives
Husbands this applies to you too. You look everywhere else for your answers, but are you going to your wife and saying, "You know something, I really need your covering. I need your help here."? Or are you going to her and saying, "Hey, you have been such a support to me. I couldn't do what I am doing without you supporting me."?
Are you saying that or are you cutting her down or are you ignoring her and just hoping she will catch on? Are you going to her and saying, "You know, I could not have stood up and preached this morning if I didn't have you there backing me in the Spirit."?
Whether she was backing you or not, I promise you next week she is going to be backing you, praying all the way in the Spirit because she made such a different last week. Boy, she is going to make a difference this week! Are you telling her that?
Make Her Feel Special
Are you saying, "You know what? I couldn't go on during the day if I did not know you were standing behind me and being my strength. I could not do this if I didn't know you were pouring into me."? And whether she is or isn't I want to tell you something, she is going to go there and make sure she is pouring into you.
Be sincere. Say, "You know what? Even though sometimes I don't tell you things, I really would not have the freedom I have if it wasn't for you being there."
Lift her up and she will say, "Hey, hang on a minute. I'm not just a tag along. I am somebody important."
So you nurture them and you bring out the beautiful treasure that is within. You see, love is always the key. And pressure done in love definitely works.
Gifts Will Manifest
As you go through this, you are going to start learning where your spouse fits in. And you know, you are going to be surprised to discover that, "Hey, my spouse isn't a prophet, but man what an awesome teacher."
You will suddenly discover, "Hey, there is an awesome teaching ministry in there that I don't have. Man that is great. With my prophetic ministry and his teaching ministry, we make a team. We make a beautiful picture."
Egg Them On And Nurture Them
Do not try and make them into your puzzle piece, because they are their own. And as you bring it out of them you are going to discover gifts and talents in them that are going to excite you and thrill you.
And as you bring them out in love and say, "Wow that was an awesome revelation. How did you do that?" immediately the person starts feeling like he is something important. He doesn't feel like he is a tag along and a little nobody and somebody who is going to go to hell because he is not catching up with you. In fact, he has a goal to aim towards. He is something special.
"Hey, do you know that that was really good. Why don't you write that down? I would like to share that with someone."
You will boost him immediately. Instead of cutting him down you will build him up. You need to say, "Wow you know what? I just can't wait to tell somebody about this. That was so good. I think I am going to share that with my friend because I think she should hear that too."
You know what? He is going to carry on bugging you and bugging you with his revelations the next week. He is going to say, "Oh yes, and you know what else I saw?"
Suddenly that little flame that was nothing but a tiny little coal, is going to burst into a fully fledged inferno that you are not going to be able to stop. And the Holy Spirit is going to blow on it, and it is going to be beautiful. Those two little foxes are going to burn for the Kingdom of God.
Time For Sacrifice
Now comes the time when your spouse is ready. He is ready to move forward. He has the passion and the, "Okay, let's do this. I want to be in ministry. I am at that place." Now is your time to really sacrifice. Oh boy, if you haven't really sacrificed enough already, hey? Now is your time to sacrifice. This is the time in your walk when you are going to stop.
You see, you have been walking along in your path and you are way down there in the future somewhere and your poor spouse is like a couple of miles behind you. You are going to have to stop where you are for him to catch up to you before you can go on as a team.
This has to be the most difficult and painful part of the process.
Pour into your Spouse
Pour the Word into him. You pour everything you are and have into him. All the ministry you pour into him, so that he can now catch up to where you are. That is the time for you to stop looking at yourself and stop looking around you for ministry opportunities, because that is your only ministry opportunity.
I know there are some of you right now that are in that position where the Lord has stopped everything. He has cut you off from everything, from ministry opportunities, from everything. You seem to just be stuck, you and your spouse. It's perfect! This is the perfect time to pour everything you are into your spouse so that he can catch up and benefit from what the Lord has put in you.
What a perfect opportunity. But you sit and moan and say, "Oh Lord, why did you stick me in this position?"
The Lord is saying, "Are you kidding? This is the best place to be. Are you nuts? This is the perfect opportunity. Grab it."
Pour everything you have into him and watch him grow before your eyes because it is going to happen. You are going to see it. The Lord has a special plan for both of you. And as you pour into him, the unity is going to start to grow. You are going to see a special oneness come between the two of you that you have never had.
But be patient. Be very patient, loving and understanding, almost like a child; not being childish and lording your authority, but being patient, knowing that they are learning how afresh and remembering where you were when you were at that place. So be understanding.
Learn To Flow Together
How do you learn to flow together? What are the ways in which you and your spouse, who up until now have been very uncomfortable with one another, going to learn to flow together?
Pray Together, Praise Together
The first way to learn to flow together is to pray together. Get used to the sound of each other's voices. Pray together, you know like you do at church. Sing songs. If you play instruments, play them. Invite your spouse along to sing with you.
Praise the Lord together, because as we have looked in other places, as you sing praise to the Lord you unite your spirits before Him. And that unity and that bond will start to grow. And everything that Satan has put in the way to cause walls and divisions will be cut down through the praise and destroyed.
Praise together. Sing together all the time as much as you can. Invite your spouse with you. Do not use it against him, but instead invite him in to stand with you as one in one spirit.
Pray In Tongues Together
Another way is to pray in tongues together, because as you are praying in tongues you are uniting your spirits and you are becoming used to the sound of each other's voices. You are getting used to the sound of his voice and he is getting used to the sound of your voice.
If he doesn't know how to speak in tongues impart it to him. Stir up the gifts in him. Give him what he needs. Allow the Lord to use you to give him what you should. Then use this together.
Speak in tongues together constantly. Pray in tongues. Just encourage every little baby step. Get used to the sound of each other's voices so that you know. And as your hearts unite, you two will flow together in a dance. You are going to come to the place that we have come to now where I know when he has received a revelation and I need to shut up, and he knows when I have something that he needs to shut up for. So we have learned to dance in the Spirit.
You need to sense each other's spirits. And as you do that you are going to start uniting, praising together and speaking in tongues together. You need to start becoming comfortable in the Lord, always loving, always giving space and always being patient. You are almost there.
Do not ruin it by pushing and insisting that he runs to catch up. Let him go at his own pace. The Lord was patient enough with you to let you go at your pace. Let him go at his.
Allow Him to Minister
Then comes a time when you are given the opportunity to minister. Now you know that as you minister forth the Lord pours more in. That is how you grow. It is really how you grow, in those times of ministry. Your spouse needs that opportunity. You have been the great big prophet that is so great you just walk in there and take over, because you have always been the spiritual head so to speak. So it is just natural to walk in there and take over and to do it all.
No. There needs to come a time where you need to step back and allow your partner to get his feet wet in ministry. There comes a time where you need to keep quiet and allow him to say his piece, and take the limelight that should be yours. As he does that he will grow. He is going to grow, and when he comes to the place where he stands with you as a team, you two are going to stand like a giant in the Kingdom of Heaven. You are going to stand as a giant against the enemy.
Allow him to grow and nurture him, just like you would a plant in the garden by feeding it and fertilizing it. You keep it away from the hot sun and you keep it away from the cold wind, and before you know it, you have a gorgeous flower. So you must do with your spouse, because he is beautiful in the sight of the Lord. He is beautiful, and should be beautiful to you as well. Let him flourish.
Have it All
You can have it all. The only thing that limits you is your own mind and the work of the enemy. It is not the Lord's intention for you to battle by yourself. And it is not the Lord's intention for you to stand unprotected and unsupported. But we go about it the wrong way. We try and demand our rights, instead of giving up our rights as Jesus gave up His rights, when He said, "Not My will but Thine be done."
You see, it is that death to flesh. It is letting the Lord come in and break down the walls that are in your heart. Let Him break down those walls so that He can do something fresh. Let Him grab this fox and grab that fox, and tie you together and put a fire in you. Because both of you have that capacity.
It is the Lord's plan for both of you, not just you as a prophet, but you as a prophet and your spouse as an evangelist, or a teacher or an apostle, it does not matter. He has his own special ministry. But as a team you will be anything and everything you need to be. "All things to all men," as that team.
You yourself cannot be everything and play all the parts in the band. But you as a couple can do a lot more. You can set ten thousand to flight instead of just two thousand. You can do this. It is what the Lord wants for you. Let Him speak to your heart even now. Let Him start breaking down those walls. Weep before Him, burn for it. See the pictures. Let Him do His work. He has something special for you and your spouse.
For you and your husband, He wants to build a protector. For you and your wife, He wants to build for you somebody to support you and stand with you and be as powerful as you in ministry. He has a plan for you both.
I want you to reach out right now wherever you are, and I want you to claim it. I want you to claim the will of the Lord for your life right now in the Name of Jesus, because He has a will and purpose for you, and that is to stand as one; that is to be those two foxes burning all the fields of the enemy, not just you trying to fight the whole enemy by yourself and stand up by yourself against all the opposition. No! Stand right now where you are and just claim what the Lord has for you, right now in Jesus' Name.
"Father I speak Your blessing on Your people. I speak Your fire on them right now, Father, to melt down those walls in their hearts; to knock down every preconceived idea. Father melt down those hearts even now. Shine them with Your love and give them a revelation of the precious Savior you are.
Satan I stand against you right now in Jesus' Name. All those bonds that are binding God's people and that are tearing them apart I just loose them right now in Jesus' Name. You take your hands off God's people. You take your lies away from them. I block their ears to your accusations. I block their ears to your lies, for you are the father of lies and I stand on your head right now in the Name of Jesus and you will bow! You will bow!
I come against every fortress that has been built against these couples that the Lord has brought to us. I come against every fortress and every separation and every dark bond that has been brought against these people, and I snap every single rope right now in Jesus' Name. I snap every division. And Father, I speak Your light and I speak Your love, and I speak Your life in this place right now. Let the light come forth now in Jesus' Name. Let the fire burn.
I speak to those spouses now that have been called of God and are lying dormant. 'Arise, arise in Jesus' Name. Come forth.' I speak a fire in your belly now, each and every one of you, a burning passion for the Lord that you have never felt before. Let it wake you in your sleep. Let it burn in you during the day. Let it consume you in Jesus' Name. I stir it up right now.
Father, I speak Your will on Your people. I speak Your will on Your people as couples and I speak Your authority on them.
Thank You, Jesus, for Your special heart and Your love for Your people. I speak Your love upon them as a mantle right now as they read this. Oh Father, just overshadow them with Your heart and Your presence, and give them the boldness and the strength they need to rise up now and to be all You have called them to be."
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